Saturday, February 28, 2009 @ 2:16 AM
LOSING HOPE BUT STAYING STRONG .
just waiting for th right time to come .
i can wish for anything but god decides it .
each day , i hope things would get betta than th day before .
nothing seems right .
i can wait but for how long ?
oh god , make my wish come true .
nobody knows what's inside my heart .
just too much questions are in my mind .
currently , i just feel like giving up .
i've been cracking my brain to think bout what i've done wrong that actually hurt pple .
maybe im bad or even worse , maybe im evil .
but inside my heart , i knew i have to stay strong .
i've to face all these challenges .
i dont wish to be haunt by th past .
i dont wish to get all stucked .
i just wanna live my life like i've always do .
but something is stopping me .
what is it , i dont know .
when i look in th mirror , i'll laugh , thinking of how foolish i am .
whenever i feel kinda down , i try to bring myself up .
sometimes im pretending to be happy but actually im nort .
im just trying real hard to smile .
i tried to go on with life without thinking bout th past .
but then , you came back & bring me down once again .
i dont deserve all this , i simply dont .
thorns are poking thru my heart .
how painful it is , only i know .
actually , we dont have to do it this way .
i wanna solve it in a nicer way but you dont want .
& you're saying i dont care .
who doesnt care ? me or you ?
well , its all proven now .
no matter how hard i try to be frends with you , it wont work .
you have your own way of thinking & i have mine .
we just wont be able to understand one another .
or maybe its you who just dont understand me .
what i've done for you , you never did appreciate .
say that you've been truthful to me for at least once , oh pleasee dont .
i know you cant fight me back , my frend .
i dont wish to argue with you but i just want to clear things up .
dont go around making up stories bout me .
dont tell lies , for goodness sake la eyh .
i can give you a bad name but i choose nort to .
i dont want to create any scene .
let me live my life & i'll let you live yours .
just another bad day of mine .
my heart is in pain but i just cant let out what's in my heart .
only in this blog is where i express my feelings .
love , friendship , hate , joy , happiness , sadness , fun , boring & stuffs .
i cant do much bout it .
whatever is going to happen , im prepared to accept it .
but im scared .
will i go thru another bad dream ?
or will it be a sweet dream this time round ?
i guess i'll just have to pray hard .
all th memories are still fresh in my mind .
i cant do anything but to treasure it .
it was nice knowing all of you though its only for a short period of time .
each one of you have brought something in my life .
be it good or bad , i really appreciate it .
now , its too late .
those times have gone by .
no point regretting .
instead , we should be thankful for every bit of it .
my heart is in pain .
i dont know what's going to happen next .
but for all i know , i can be a bad or a good thing .
with each effort i try to make things betta , it just hurts .
pichares of those memories just kept playing my mind like a song playing on th radio .
it just kept on repeating .
now , i get th clear pichare .
maybe it was all just a game .
i know i have to go on & try to be happy as much as i can .
i cant let all this stop me from doing what i wanna do .
its my life & i can do what i want .
i've never stop you so you cant stop me .
we're nort even frends , i guess .
so , you shouldnt be interfering in my life .
i know myself well .
i dont pick up fights with pple unless they do something wrong .
for me , i dont wish to have any enemies cause i know that it brings me to nowhere .
but if you force me to then i have no choice .
when i love someone , be it a frend or whatsoever , i appreciate what they do for me , be it small things .
but if i dont like someone , i wont bother what they wanna do .
they can create stories bout me & they can make stupid lies bout me but it wont bring them far .
im nort that type of person who get so stressed up bout all these lies .
in fact , i dont even give a damn bout it .
judge me all you want cause for all i know , im just going to prove you wrong .
true love & friendship last .
but if its puppy love & some pathetic friendship , it wont last long .
just waiting for th right time to come .
i can wish for anything but god decides it .
each day , i hope things would get betta than th day before .
nothing seems right .
i can wait but for how long ?
oh god , make my wish come true .
nobody knows what's inside my heart .
just too much questions are in my mind .
currently , i just feel like giving up .
i've been cracking my brain to think bout what i've done wrong that actually hurt pple .
maybe im bad or even worse , maybe im evil .
but inside my heart , i knew i have to stay strong .
i've to face all these challenges .
i dont wish to be haunt by th past .
i dont wish to get all stucked .
i just wanna live my life like i've always do .
but something is stopping me .
what is it , i dont know .
when i look in th mirror , i'll laugh , thinking of how foolish i am .
whenever i feel kinda down , i try to bring myself up .
sometimes im pretending to be happy but actually im nort .
im just trying real hard to smile .
i tried to go on with life without thinking bout th past .
but then , you came back & bring me down once again .
i dont deserve all this , i simply dont .
thorns are poking thru my heart .
how painful it is , only i know .
actually , we dont have to do it this way .
i wanna solve it in a nicer way but you dont want .
& you're saying i dont care .
who doesnt care ? me or you ?
well , its all proven now .
no matter how hard i try to be frends with you , it wont work .
you have your own way of thinking & i have mine .
we just wont be able to understand one another .
or maybe its you who just dont understand me .
what i've done for you , you never did appreciate .
say that you've been truthful to me for at least once , oh pleasee dont .
i know you cant fight me back , my frend .
i dont wish to argue with you but i just want to clear things up .
dont go around making up stories bout me .
dont tell lies , for goodness sake la eyh .
i can give you a bad name but i choose nort to .
i dont want to create any scene .
let me live my life & i'll let you live yours .
just another bad day of mine .
my heart is in pain but i just cant let out what's in my heart .
only in this blog is where i express my feelings .
love , friendship , hate , joy , happiness , sadness , fun , boring & stuffs .
i cant do much bout it .
whatever is going to happen , im prepared to accept it .
but im scared .
will i go thru another bad dream ?
or will it be a sweet dream this time round ?
i guess i'll just have to pray hard .
all th memories are still fresh in my mind .
i cant do anything but to treasure it .
it was nice knowing all of you though its only for a short period of time .
each one of you have brought something in my life .
be it good or bad , i really appreciate it .
now , its too late .
those times have gone by .
no point regretting .
instead , we should be thankful for every bit of it .
my heart is in pain .
i dont know what's going to happen next .
but for all i know , i can be a bad or a good thing .
with each effort i try to make things betta , it just hurts .
pichares of those memories just kept playing my mind like a song playing on th radio .
it just kept on repeating .
now , i get th clear pichare .
maybe it was all just a game .
i know i have to go on & try to be happy as much as i can .
i cant let all this stop me from doing what i wanna do .
its my life & i can do what i want .
i've never stop you so you cant stop me .
we're nort even frends , i guess .
so , you shouldnt be interfering in my life .
i know myself well .
i dont pick up fights with pple unless they do something wrong .
for me , i dont wish to have any enemies cause i know that it brings me to nowhere .
but if you force me to then i have no choice .
when i love someone , be it a frend or whatsoever , i appreciate what they do for me , be it small things .
but if i dont like someone , i wont bother what they wanna do .
they can create stories bout me & they can make stupid lies bout me but it wont bring them far .
im nort that type of person who get so stressed up bout all these lies .
in fact , i dont even give a damn bout it .
judge me all you want cause for all i know , im just going to prove you wrong .
true love & friendship last .
but if its puppy love & some pathetic friendship , it wont last long .
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 12:25 AM
I just wish i could have you for much longer .
But i know i cant .
You belong to someone else now .
I dont know what else to do .
My heart is in pain .
It hurts alot , hell yeaah .
I aint strong anymore .
With each step that i try to let you go , it hurts .
Oh boy , im so sorry that all this have to happen .
If only i could rewind back the time , i'll treasure each & every moment with you .
I dont even know if i could get another chance to be with you .
Im getting all fucked up .
All these things are bringing me down but i have to be strong & face it .
Im trying my best to rub away from th past .
I dont wish to get stuck here .
I wanna be happy & enjoy life .
Oh god , show me the path cause im giving up .
Today i went to JURONG BIRD PARK for outing .
It was great fun though tiring .
We played games over there & had KFC for our lunch .
YUMMY huh ?
Well , too tired to talk bout it pple .
Bye .
But i know i cant .
You belong to someone else now .
I dont know what else to do .
My heart is in pain .
It hurts alot , hell yeaah .
I aint strong anymore .
With each step that i try to let you go , it hurts .
Oh boy , im so sorry that all this have to happen .
If only i could rewind back the time , i'll treasure each & every moment with you .
I dont even know if i could get another chance to be with you .
Im getting all fucked up .
All these things are bringing me down but i have to be strong & face it .
Im trying my best to rub away from th past .
I dont wish to get stuck here .
I wanna be happy & enjoy life .
Oh god , show me the path cause im giving up .
Today i went to JURONG BIRD PARK for outing .
It was great fun though tiring .
We played games over there & had KFC for our lunch .
YUMMY huh ?
Well , too tired to talk bout it pple .
Bye .
Tuesday, February 17, 2009 @ 8:32 PM
I wanna share with you guys bout me "pee-ing" inside the bus .
It was after school & i went to mac to buy double cheeseburger meal as per usual .
After that , i went back to school with syiq .
I put my ice lemon tea inside a plastic bag & put it inside my bag .
I totally forgot bout it .
I board bus 190 to bukit panjang dome .
I was sitting down so i placed my bag on my lap .
Suddenly , i felt something cold flowing down my legs .
Then syiq say , 'Akak .. you pee is it ?'
At that moment , my bag was alrdy wet with ice lemon tea .
OH GOD ! PATHETIC RIGHT ? Gahh !
I totally hate it siaa .
& guess what .. my books & papers are drenched with ice lemon tea .
NICE SMELL baybeh !
Reach the dome alrdy , i quickly emptied my bag .
I spread my books out to dry then .
But then , it rained .
Went to BPP then went home around 8 plus .
Luckily my bag was alrdy dry .
BAD MEMORIES .
I just wish things would get betta .
I cant be sitting & staring into space all the time right ?
STUPID LOVE .
It doesnt bring me happiness but sadness .
But what can i possibly do .
You care for her more than you care for me .
You love her more than you love me .
Maybe all this is just a game i & you played .
Maybe in this game , you fell for me but in reality , you dont .
Those promises kept running in my mind .
Your actions make me dont bother bout you anymore .
Just because of her , you're willing to break my heart .
& all you say is that you're sorry .
OH GOD , YOU GORT TO BE KIDDING ME .
I've come to realise that loving you wont mean anything .
Its best if i leave & let you be happy with her .
From now on , i'll just treat you like you're my brother .
My love for you will be a love of a sister to a brother .
Nort more than that .
I cant make you happy & i cant share the happiness with you .
But if you're sad , i'll go thru the sadness with you .
I wont be beside you but whenever you need me , im shure to help you .
I'll be with you thru it all , i promise .
Well , thanks alot for all the momories .
It was after school & i went to mac to buy double cheeseburger meal as per usual .
After that , i went back to school with syiq .
I put my ice lemon tea inside a plastic bag & put it inside my bag .
I totally forgot bout it .
I board bus 190 to bukit panjang dome .
I was sitting down so i placed my bag on my lap .
Suddenly , i felt something cold flowing down my legs .
Then syiq say , 'Akak .. you pee is it ?'
At that moment , my bag was alrdy wet with ice lemon tea .
OH GOD ! PATHETIC RIGHT ? Gahh !
I totally hate it siaa .
& guess what .. my books & papers are drenched with ice lemon tea .
NICE SMELL baybeh !
Reach the dome alrdy , i quickly emptied my bag .
I spread my books out to dry then .
But then , it rained .
Went to BPP then went home around 8 plus .
Luckily my bag was alrdy dry .
BAD MEMORIES .
I just wish things would get betta .
I cant be sitting & staring into space all the time right ?
STUPID LOVE .
It doesnt bring me happiness but sadness .
But what can i possibly do .
You care for her more than you care for me .
You love her more than you love me .
Maybe all this is just a game i & you played .
Maybe in this game , you fell for me but in reality , you dont .
Those promises kept running in my mind .
Your actions make me dont bother bout you anymore .
Just because of her , you're willing to break my heart .
& all you say is that you're sorry .
OH GOD , YOU GORT TO BE KIDDING ME .
I've come to realise that loving you wont mean anything .
Its best if i leave & let you be happy with her .
From now on , i'll just treat you like you're my brother .
My love for you will be a love of a sister to a brother .
Nort more than that .
I cant make you happy & i cant share the happiness with you .
But if you're sad , i'll go thru the sadness with you .
I wont be beside you but whenever you need me , im shure to help you .
I'll be with you thru it all , i promise .
Well , thanks alot for all the momories .
Good luck .
@ 5:24 AM
Oh god , make things betta for me .
Im confused .I dont know what to do .
Should i hold on or should i let it all go ?
Each day , i'll get hurt without fail .
Who am i to him anyway ?
Just a doll or what ?
Haish .
Im getting weak day by day .
Hopes are left with hopes .
Even if i love you alot , it wont make a difference , wouldnt it ?
Everytime i see you with her , pichares of us kept playing in my mind .
No doubt its still fresh in my mind .
I've no regrets but i just have doubts .
I dont wish to be your toy or your doll .
I just wanna be happy & live my life to the fullest .
Let time heal my heart .
I'll be strong , for shure .
With my frends around me , im shure i can make it thru all this .
Im gonna be just fine , trust me .
All the best & good luck yaww .
Im confused .I dont know what to do .
Should i hold on or should i let it all go ?
Each day , i'll get hurt without fail .
Who am i to him anyway ?
Just a doll or what ?
Haish .
Im getting weak day by day .
Hopes are left with hopes .
Even if i love you alot , it wont make a difference , wouldnt it ?
Everytime i see you with her , pichares of us kept playing in my mind .
No doubt its still fresh in my mind .
I've no regrets but i just have doubts .
I dont wish to be your toy or your doll .
I just wanna be happy & live my life to the fullest .
Let time heal my heart .
I'll be strong , for shure .
With my frends around me , im shure i can make it thru all this .
Im gonna be just fine , trust me .
All the best & good luck yaww .
Saturday, February 14, 2009 @ 5:01 AM
I can't believe you hurt me this far .
What do i mean to you ?
I bet i'm nothing to you .
As i sat alone in my room , tears just kept rolling down my cheeks .
Is it called love when it hurts so much ?
Do i have to sacrifice & give in all the time ?
Its unfair to me , it really is .
Is this what you hope for ?
You're so much different from the first time i met you .
Is it cause of me you've changed ?
If it is , i'm sorry .
I just wish you can be all mine once again .
It hurts alot to see you being with her .
I won't deny how much i love & care for you .
But i guess you still haven't realised it .
Time will tell it all .
You left me after our 1 year & 8 months of relationship .
I text you every single day but you didn't reply me any .
I waited for you for nearly 3 months .
When i was about to give up hope on you , you came back .
I was happy indeed .
My heart was telling me truth .
You'll shurely come back & you really did .
24 january 2009 , th day i got you back .
Those pichares are still kept in my handphone .
But then , a week later , you started to avoid me .
My heart was really in pain .
Every night i cry , hoping that things would change .
You kept secrets from me .
When i get to know that you play timer with hidayah , i was truly hurt .
What did i lack ?
What was my mistake ?
Bby , i care for you but you never did appreciate it .
What more do you want from me ?
At this moment , i felt like giving up .
I just can't get over it .
& now , you're treating me as you wish .
When you need me , you come looking for me .
But when you don't need me , you just ignore me .
Is this what you really want ?
I've always cared for you but you just don't see it .
You're saying that nobody cares for you even if you die .
Well , i do .
But no matter how much i love & care for you , it doesn't make any difference .
You've found someone else .
& i bet she's much more better than me until you're willing to hurt me this much .
I just hope you'll be happy always .
I love you bby .
What do i mean to you ?
I bet i'm nothing to you .
As i sat alone in my room , tears just kept rolling down my cheeks .
Is it called love when it hurts so much ?
Do i have to sacrifice & give in all the time ?
Its unfair to me , it really is .
Is this what you hope for ?
You're so much different from the first time i met you .
Is it cause of me you've changed ?
If it is , i'm sorry .
I just wish you can be all mine once again .
It hurts alot to see you being with her .
I won't deny how much i love & care for you .
But i guess you still haven't realised it .
Time will tell it all .
You left me after our 1 year & 8 months of relationship .
I text you every single day but you didn't reply me any .
I waited for you for nearly 3 months .
When i was about to give up hope on you , you came back .
I was happy indeed .
My heart was telling me truth .
You'll shurely come back & you really did .
24 january 2009 , th day i got you back .
Those pichares are still kept in my handphone .
But then , a week later , you started to avoid me .
My heart was really in pain .
Every night i cry , hoping that things would change .
You kept secrets from me .
When i get to know that you play timer with hidayah , i was truly hurt .
What did i lack ?
What was my mistake ?
Bby , i care for you but you never did appreciate it .
What more do you want from me ?
At this moment , i felt like giving up .
I just can't get over it .
& now , you're treating me as you wish .
When you need me , you come looking for me .
But when you don't need me , you just ignore me .
Is this what you really want ?
I've always cared for you but you just don't see it .
You're saying that nobody cares for you even if you die .
Well , i do .
But no matter how much i love & care for you , it doesn't make any difference .
You've found someone else .
& i bet she's much more better than me until you're willing to hurt me this much .
I just hope you'll be happy always .
I love you bby .
@ 1:56 AM
DANCE PRAC ONE .
We did have fun .
Looking forward for th next dance prac .
We did have fun .
Looking forward for th next dance prac .
Monday, February 9, 2009 @ 3:53 AM
Hello earthlings .
Its been awhile since i update .
I lazy to update la .
Nothing special happen so wht for bother to update right ?
Well , i've been a little kinda moody these few days .
Lots of sad story indeed .
I have to be strong cause things happens for a reason be it good or bad .
Whatever it is , i won't forget all those memories that i had with him .
Yeaah , it hurts alot but time will heal my heart . I wrote a song for him .
I lazy to update la .
Nothing special happen so wht for bother to update right ?
Well , i've been a little kinda moody these few days .
Lots of sad story indeed .
I have to be strong cause things happens for a reason be it good or bad .
Whatever it is , i won't forget all those memories that i had with him .
Yeaah , it hurts alot but time will heal my heart . I wrote a song for him .
Here it goes :
Ku amat mencintaimu tapi kau pergi meninggalkan diriku ini .
Syg , maafkan la diriku ini kerana tak dapat membuat mu bahagia .
Kenapa kau pergi meninggalkan diriku ? Apakah salahku ?
Kini kau dimiliki dan ku tak mungkin dapat memiliki mu lagi .
Sedihnya hatiku , sakitnya hatiku , tidak kau mengerti .
Manakah janji janjimu ? Manakah dirimu yang dulu ?
Syg , apakah ini yang dimahukan oleh mu ?
Pergi la , jangan kau menyakitiku lagi .
Ku tak sanggup lagi melalui semua ini .
Masa untuk kita bersama telah pun berakhir .
Saat saat indah hanya dapat dikenang .
Janganlah kau merinduiku lagi kerana kau sudah berpunya .
Teruskan la hidup mu tanpa diriku .
Ku pasti kau akan bahagia .
Oh syg , ku tak berdaya untuk melihat mu bersamanya .
Wahai syg , biarkan la ku pergi .
Selamat tinggal .
Yours truly ,
; superfidd .
Ku amat mencintaimu tapi kau pergi meninggalkan diriku ini .
Syg , maafkan la diriku ini kerana tak dapat membuat mu bahagia .
Kenapa kau pergi meninggalkan diriku ? Apakah salahku ?
Kini kau dimiliki dan ku tak mungkin dapat memiliki mu lagi .
Sedihnya hatiku , sakitnya hatiku , tidak kau mengerti .
Manakah janji janjimu ? Manakah dirimu yang dulu ?
Syg , apakah ini yang dimahukan oleh mu ?
Pergi la , jangan kau menyakitiku lagi .
Ku tak sanggup lagi melalui semua ini .
Masa untuk kita bersama telah pun berakhir .
Saat saat indah hanya dapat dikenang .
Janganlah kau merinduiku lagi kerana kau sudah berpunya .
Teruskan la hidup mu tanpa diriku .
Ku pasti kau akan bahagia .
Oh syg , ku tak berdaya untuk melihat mu bersamanya .
Wahai syg , biarkan la ku pergi .
Selamat tinggal .
Yours truly ,
; superfidd .
Memories are left with memories .
He belongs to someone else & i dnt wish to destroy their relationship .
Only time will prove it all to him .
I just hope he'll always be happy .
& im missing someone very th much .
He belongs to someone else & i dnt wish to destroy their relationship .
Only time will prove it all to him .
I just hope he'll always be happy .
& im missing someone very th much .
